Sunday Sanity Saving Tip

just get on the treadmill

We bought a treadmill. A really deluxe treadmill that you might see at a gym (well, ok, it's not THAT deluxe but it's decently close). Our schedules are just too tight and there has been no time for either of us to work out- and let's face it, we both need it. We're not getting any younger and, for me at least, I have always had to work 10 million times harder than the average person to stay on the thinner side.

So, we bought a treadmill online because the sale was amazing. And then it arrived. They dropped it in my driveway- all 300 pounds of it. In a snowstorm. And left it for hubs and I to somehow (and I'm still not sure how) drag it into our house.

We did it, though. So determined are we to get back into the shape we once were in. But get it into our basement...not a chance. So now we have a treadmill, in our dining room. Aesthetically, it's awful but, you know what? It's working for us. Yes, it's shiny and new and exciting but we love working out on it and the location keeps it top of mind, a beacon calling out to me...reminding me it's there and needs to be used.

And, while my first run post-pregnancy (my 2008 pregnancy, that is!) was kinda torturous, I'm slightly excited to run when I wake up in the morning. So my Sunday Sanity Saving Tip = just get on the treadmill (or eliptical, or bike, or whatever). 

It's Your 7 Month Birthday

Hey Will- today you're 7 months old. I can't even begin to tell you how unbelievable this is to me. I'm not even sure where the time has gone and how you managed to get so big without me realizing it.
In many ways, you are still my little baby. Sure, you sit on your own and 'talk' (in the cutest gibberish known to man) incessantly. You have obvious likes (food) and dislikes (sleeping on your belly) but you still seem to really need your mommy and, for that, I'm thankful.
You know, you're likely my last baby and I don't mind holding on to some of your baby characteristics for just a bit longer. Your brother grew up ridiculously fast and was determined to never be a baby. I'm happy to have a baby who is really a baby!
So, Tank (yup, you're a big kid!), as you enjoy your Mum-mum and Gerber stars, oat cereal and squash, and your brother's Handy Manny tool set on your seven month birthday, please know how much you mean to me. How I can not imagine my life without you in it. How your doe-eyes, with the insanely long eyelashes, staring up at me every morning, still make my heart jump. How that muppet face you make when you've fallen asleep while drinking your bottle makes every middle of the night wakeup (almost) worth it. Every time your brother asks, "Mom, I like Will, can we keep him?" I am so happy that you'll grow up with Z as your big brother, because I know he's going to take really good care of you and you'll be best friends.
You've lit up our lives in a way I could never imagine. People told me I'd find a way to love and adore my second child but now I realize what they meant. You, Will, are a treasure to me and I am so glad to be your mom.

Resolutions 2012

I've had this written since January 1. I'm not sure why I never got around to posting it. Perhaps laziness the fear of failure? (it was laziness, but I'm sure I have some subconscious fear in there that can explain it, right?)


It's 2012. The theme of my resolutions this year will be GO FOR IT.


Seeing as I have spent the last few years either pregnant or trying to lose pregnancy weight, I'm excited to be able to put a few goals out there that may actually be achievable. When I'm teaching a class, I always try to encourage my students to be fearless- to go for it. What's the worst that can happen, I tell them. So what if you don't get it right the first time or fail to be the best- it's the trying that matters. It's the putting yourself out there and working toward a goal that people respect and admire. It's the setting of goals and the real drive to meet them that allow you to win in the long run. and I do believe that.  But I so rarely follow that sage advice.

I'll be totally honest. Most things in my life have come easily to me. Despite some curveballs (hello, three years to get into Teacher's College), I have worked hard and achieved in life. In my pre-children days, I was good at school, good at my job, I had the discipline necessary to stay on the thin(ner) side, I had good friends and was decently well-liked. When I went after something I was able to grasp it without excessive effort. But, somewhere along the way (perhaps May 2, 2009) I lost that. Not that my life isn't great- it is. Not that I've stopped working hard and achieving- I still am. But somewhere along the way I lost the real drive that I had in my early 20s; the drive that was the real reason that things came easily to me.

Why do I tell you this? Well, I feel like I've lost that go for it  attitude that I worked so hard to instil in my students. I kinda let go in a haze of sleeplessness and constant need for attention by my two wee ones (which I don't begrudge one bit- this period will only last for so long). So, 2012 will be the year I get my go for it back and really put work into the things I love.

1. I will be present and active with my kids- I don't think I'm bad at this, but I think I could be better, I don't want my kids to remember their mom peering at them over the laptop screen, yelling at them to just give me 5 minutes of quiet.  I want to endeavour to be a mom who is teaching and learning, with my kids.
2. I will run a 5K- I have said I will run a 5K since I was 20. That's a long time. I'm not a good/fast/dedicated runner, but I'm going to sign up for a 5K and, even if I come in dead last (which is a distinct possibility) I will FINISH!
3. I will write and submit my writing- My written words aren't for everyone and not everything I write will be lauded with praise, but I know that I do have some talent for telling stories and I'm going to honour that talent this year. You know, one of my biggest regrets is not going to school for something more writing related. I love being a teacher, but I love writing even more and I wish I had really explored my writing-related career options more thoroughly.
4. I will learn to forgive- Ephesians 4:32- Be kind and compassionate to each other, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave you. I have struggled with forgiveness for a long time. When I feel I have been wronged, I become cold and dismissive. It's an ugly quality that I need to do some serious work on. 
5. I will put myself out there- I know this seems vague, but maybe that's because I don't even have a fully formed idea of how I will put myself out there this year. But I will. I will take chances that I am normally too afraid to take. I will allow myself to feel insecure and nervous and disappointed and elated- but I will put myself out there regardless. I will be ready for opportunities that come my way and figure out a way to make them work. I will ask when I normally would shy away and I will agree when I normally would say no.

And I'll hold myself accountable to these resolutions- maybe with some bloggy updates occasionally...

Mid Week Confessions

Time for my weekly soul-cleansing care of emyselfandi.com...

• My sister once compared my mothering skills to Tori Spelling, and I thought that was a HUGE compliment. Really. I really think she's a fabulous mom.
• Z watches more TV then I would ever care to tell you about. I mean, I read other blogs where people write "...my kid knows that they're only allowed to watch ONE HALF HOUR SHOW a day..." and I think- crap, I would lose my mind on my kid if it wasn't for tv. He's 2.5 years old and into EVERYTHING. I need the break of that electronic babysitter.
• When W was three months old, I decided to do Body by Vi. I WAS STARVING. But I lost 12 pounds in one month. Then, Christmas time hit and I stopped and (gulp) I gained it all back. Every pound. I'm so disappointed in myself.
• I am pretty happy to let my sister pick out my clothes for me. Someone tweeted that they'd rather just sleep in their clothes for the next day and I thought good idea! I'm too tired to care about what I look like.
• HOWEVER, I have massive roots right now and am officially no longer naturally blonde. I'm naturally brunette. Too bad I look a million times better as a blonde. Expensive upkeep.
• I love public speaking. I used to do so much of it- from small groups to large auditoriums. In high school I toured as a speaker with SADD (Students Against Drinking and Driving) and in university I did a few speaking engagements for them as well. My love of public speaking is probably why I got into teaching- but I really do miss those motivational/informational talks...
• I still have to post my resolution post. It's all written. But, because it has taken me so long to post it, I've pretty much ruined the chances of upholding my main resolution. Sigh.

The Going-ons

Hey!

Like my tabs? What about the new colours? Some experimentation going on. I think I'm a fan of minimalist blog design...let the words do the talking, so to speak.

Anyway, I have two blog posts all ready to go, but it seems wrong to post them when we've been having so. much. fun.

Z got strep throat. Again. He has had strep throat 4 times. Each time he gets it you would never guess that he is sick. In fact, were it not for a fever of 41 degrees (yikes!) and his desire to only watch tv (the kid likes tv but he likes to play way more), I never would have guessed that he was sick.

Of course, like all good kids, he got sick on the weekend, which meant either the emergency room or the walk-in clinic. Since I'm becoming all doctor-like recently, having watched years of ER is finally paying off my friends, I opted for the walk-in as I was pretty sure of the diagnosis. And I was right. Strep throat it was. And a suggestion that "he may need his tonsils out". GULP! Now, to be fair, both his father & I are children of the early 80s, which means that we have no tonsils (I'm pretty sure everyone born between 1980-1984 lost their tonsils at some point.). But it's still crazy to think my baby might require the same.

As a result, we had to cancel W's baptism. I felt so bad, especially for the minister of the church who had to rejig his sermon and fill "baptism time" last minute. Good thing he's my dad!

In other news, while dealing with feverish Z, W decided to cut a tooth!!!! Hurray!!!! He's almost 7 months old, so he's started cutting teeth about 2 months before his brother did. We should have seen the signs, being second time parents and all, but we were too busy with the sick one to notice the drooly wee one. Forgive us, W?

W has also started giving kisses and saying BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. The cuteness is almost too much to bear.

Resolutions are forthcoming, I assure you. They're worth the wait (no they're not, but pretend along with me ok?)

Sunday Sanity Saving Tip

I learned this tip from my first son:

Take your cues from your kids. The more ready they are for (even an easy) transition, the better it will go for (clueless) you. Don't rush your kids- growing up isn't a competition.

Mid-Week Confessions

Ah, it's that time of the week. Time to link up for my mid-week confessions. This week's instalment will focus on why I'm such an AWFUL mom according to the people of Twitter.

I usually love Twitter peeps- they share awesome information and I can get an answer in a nano-second. HOWEVER, I started a slight firestorm recently and it has snowballed from there...so, without further ado, here's why Twitter thinks I'm a bad mom:

• I am #sleeptraining. I actually have sleep trained both my kids. I do a "sarah version" of sleep training- I'm not following a book or a prescribed plan, just a modified method of "GO TO SLEEP BECAUSE I'M TIRED". I have never been tweeted so many articles about how crying it out is harmful to kids and how I am ruining my baby for life. For the record, while there is some (very mad) crying involved, I'm not "crying it out" and I'm not ruining my baby.

• I #bottlefeed. I probably don't need to expand on why I'm awful for this one, but I will anyway. Nursing is best. I agree. But if you don't have the milk to feed your babes, then you bottle feed. Because I'd rather have my baby FED formula then STARVE.
• I once tweeted that I was buying #formula and #babyfood. Oh, the humanity! Listen, I make about 90% of W's food (and 100% of Z's food) but I have a few jars of apple sauce and prunes on hand, just in case. Sue me.
• I (jokingly) tweeted that I love to use TV to entertain the 6 month old. #tvbabysitter. Arg. I was joking people. BUT, even if I wasn't, I'm pretty sure that it didn't warrant being asked "why I ever bothered to have kids". Seriously.
• I don't #babywear. My kids get so much love and attention from me, that I can promise you. However, neither of them enjoyed the sling or Ergo. W didn't mind it for the first two months of his life, but he's since grown very fond of moving on his own and wants the freedom to do so. I love the idea of baby wearing, but my kids just weren't into it.
• (this confession has nothing to do with my kids)- DID YOU KNOW THAT R. KELLY HAS MADE MORE CHAPTERS FOR "TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET"??? This, my friends, is awesome news that really had to be shared!

Edited to add: I'm not trying to be right (as some people eluded to on Twitter today...lol) I'm just trying to explain why I make the choices I make. As I have said SO MANY TIMES- parents should make the RIGHT choices for them and their children. Respect.

A fun post to begin 2012

While all of you are posting your resolutions, I thought I'd talk about something way more fun- sleep training! (hurray!)


I guess I'm not a planner. I mean, the writing is on the wall.
When I was teaching, about 90% of my best lessons were thought of on the fly.  No planning, no prep.
I got a story published in a Chicken Soup for the Soul book that I wrote and submitted moments before the deadline.
I was 5 months pregnant with W when I woke up, said we needed to sell our house, called our real estate agent and had the house on the market and sold within a few weeks.


So it should be no surprise that, last night at around 11p.m. I decided that I would ring in 2012 by sleep training my 6.5 month old.


W was such a good sleeper for the first two months of his life. I mean, so good that I cockily told my mother that "he'll be sleeping through the night by three months". WHYYYYYYYYY? Why would I have ever put that out there? Because, obviously, I breed children who never sleep and want to torture their poor mother by making her an exhausted mess.


When Z was 7.5 months, I was such a hot mess of sleeplessness that my husband insisted that we sleep train him. I was so resistant but, you know, in the end it was 100% worth it. I needed him to sleep and Z needed sleep. So I knew that, if it came to it, I would be ok to sleep train W. And apparently that day arrived on January 1.


W has been waking up every two hours during the night. EVERY TWO HOURS. Those are newborn hours. He is very sleepy throughout the day, has trouble napping, and (even though he's really really really good tempered) it has made him more moody and frustrated than I would like to see for my sweet baby.


If I'd been a good planner, I would have done sleep training the week that my husband was home for Christmas holidays. The week that someone would be around to let me sleep in and nap as necessary. But a planner I am not. So at 11 p.m. I decided that tonight was the night that W was going to sleep.


He awoke at 1:30 a.m.  I lay in bed. 10 minutes later I popped into his room, made him way more angry (apparently I'm not comforting at all), left his room and lay down for another 10 minutes. This went on for almost an hour when, amazingly, he fell asleep. I mean, he had cried for almost that whole hour (waking up his brother twice, which is another reason for the sleep training) but then he fell asleep on his own. And he stayed asleep, on his own. Until 7 a.m. On His Own!


I know a lot of people struggle with the idea of sleep training. I do too. But I also struggle with the idea of babies that are so sleep deprived that they don't know what to do with themselves and their mothers who feel the same. And my baby is being sleep trained because he's ready. He is more than heavy enough to sleep through the night. He is waking up annoyed, not starving or needing me. He's not sick. There are a lot of factors that go into my decision to sleep train my baby. And, yes, there is an element of selfishness in sleep training. I'm tired. I need to sleep. I have two babies who need me and I can't be there for them fully unless I'm getting some sleep. 


So, day 1 of sleep training was a success. I stayed strong. I did it all on my own (I don't even know if my hubby was aware of what was going on) and, although unplanned and unprepared, I think it's going to be a good thing for the entire family.