The Red-Headed Litigator

I am convinced that Z will become a lawyer when he grows up. Or a union boss. I cannot think of a career that would suit his personality more. The personality that has been driving me up.the.wall.

From the moment Z was born, he had a strong personality. Even the nurses in the hospital said something to the effect of "good luck" as my tiny red-head screamed so loudly and for so long that everyone gave up trying to calm him down. He wants what he wants, when he wants it, right now. NOW. DON'T MAKE ME WAIT OR YOU WILL SUFFER MY WRATH.

This, my friends, has caused head-butting to reach an all time high at my house. He, the red-headed litigator, does not accept substitutes or redirection or alternatives. He does not respond to time-outs (unless they are long and in his room. alone.) or threats or the disposal of toys/games/books. He will not budge.

The biggest sticking points recently have been milk. And diaper changes. And any food I place in front of him. And tv. He will stand his ground until he breaks you down. There is no stopping this kid.

Let me give you an example.
He wants milk to drink- not water, not juice. Milk. MIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLKKKKKKK. And should you dare to place water in front of him he will throw and kick and scream and cry and attempt the most SuperNanny fit you have seen outside of tv. And, if you're his mom, you will ignore him. Which will make our little litigator more angry. And then he will try to bargain and debate and cajole and convince. And, if you're his mom, you will ignore and stand your ground. Which will make the red-headed wonder whine and whine and ask and ask and ask and ask and ask. He'll go for hours. He doesn't need a break. He doesn't care if he's annoying. He wants milk and he will get it. And, if you're his mother, (who has stood strong for nearly 4 hours at this point- 4 relentless hours) you will give in at some point because he might have all day to fight with you, but you don't have the same luxury of time. And that fireball will sit, smugly, and sip his milk and kiss his cup like he has never tasted anything more beautiful in his life. And he will say something like, "see, that wasn't hard, was it mommy?". And you will cringe, knowing that he  has won yet another case.

Here he is, angry at me for trying to take his picture with my phone. Of course.

I will fully admit that I get tired of fighting and arguing and debating. I get tired of convincing him that he is not the boss. I get tired of standing my ground. This parenting thing is not for the faint of heart, believe me. I keep reminding myself how important it is for him to hear the words NO and for them to have some traction. For there not to be emptiness in my threats. But I am fully convinced that he is completely unable to hear the word NO. Thereby making all my "ground standing" fruitless.

So, my little Solicitor and I will continue to battle it out in the court of 2.5 year old logic. And I will remind myself that all this arguing will only help him to become the most kick-butt lawyer that Canada has ever seen.

Live Blogging: The Grammys

I'm watching The Grammy's and live blogging my reactions (with no times attached because, well, that's just way too much work).

LL Cool J irritates me every time he licks his lips. Which he does way too much. However, he's incredibly good looking so I forgive him.
The prayer kinda surprised me.  But I thought it was beautiful and real and good on ya, LL.


Hey Bruno. I find you bizarre to look at. But I think you perform like few on the scene right now. LOVED this performance, even if my husband talked through the whole thing.


Urg. My mom just called. It's ok. It's just Bonnie Rait and Alicia Keys (with a very Bruno Mars-esque pompadour). I heard nothing...too busy yelling at my mom. Was it any good?


Hey, Adele won Best Pop Song! My husband says she'll win 5 out of 6 tonight. I adore her speaking voice. It's like velvety butter. She should do books on tape or something, don't you think?


Licky-lips is back, introducing the next performer. I CANNOT CANNOT CANNOT stand behind this rejoicing that Chris Brown is back to his former star status. What he did was despicable. He received little more than a smack on the wrist for treating a woman in a manner that is beyond reprehensible and now is again praised and lauded. I see the way young girls look up to him and it scares me that we can so openly applaud someone who has never had to answer for his actions against women. (phew. rant much?)


I'm sorry. I love that Fergie dress!!!! HOLY MOLY! HOWEVER, you have heard it here first- that dress screams, I'm getting a divorce. Trust me!!!


Hey Reba! Oh, I lived in Saskatchewan for my entire youth and I know almost every word to every Reba song. Do you remember her show? Aptly named, Reba... Well, once my mom was told that she looks and sounds just like Norma Jean (you know, the ditzy jerk of a woman who stole Reba's husband). She's going to hate me forever for writing that but I can't see Reba (the woman or the show) without thinking of that (and how horrified, rightfully so, my mom was. Because my mom is beautiful and not a ditzy jerk of a woman).


I ADORE me some Kelly Clarkson. "Don't you want stay here a little while..." FYI- The answer, ladies, is NO. I don't want to stay.    But I still like this song (although what they're doing here at the end is weird. Did they forget they were performing?).


TIME FOR SOME FOOOOOOO!!!! (foo fighters, that is).


Baby woke up and needed food. Sheesh, this parenthood thing getting in the way of my live blogging.

I'm back for RiRi and Coldplay. Am I the only one that detests the blonde hair on RiRi? I LOVED her when she was starting out- so beautiful and so talented. She just gives off this vibe that she's trying so hard to be something that I don't think she is. Coldplay is one of my favourite bands. I cry every time I see them perform live. There's something about Chris Martin's voice. (FYI- that's also the name of my Brother in Law...weird right? But my BIL's voice doesn't make me cry...usually). The Scientist is most likely my favourite song ever.


Hopefully this didn't happen during the time I was feeding W, but I will be surprised if I don't see Beyonce doing some sort of tribute to Whitney. I mean, really, I can't think of who I'd rather see (except Celine Dion - ok, feel free to hate on me) singing Whitney songs than the big Beyonce. Is it too soon after Baby Blue's birth for her to sing, I wonder?

Who is this woman with the dark hair presenting with these two "players"? She has man hands!!!!!!!!


Do you really classify Mumford & Sons as ROCK? The Decemberists as ROCK? Oh well, doesn't matter....THE FOO won best Rock album anyway:)
OH FOO!!!!! You're the best. I love everything you say! I love that you just kept talking even though the KING (aka Ryan Secrest) was in the wings and waiting to get on the stage.


OK, a Beach Boys celebration. YAWN. This better include John Stamos at some point or it is totally not worth it. Anyone else totally not get the Adam Levine appeal? I don't get it one bit.
I'm off to get a snack. So not for me....Beach Boys are old. (sorry, they are)


So, David Guetta is coming up. Back in the day, when I was 19/20, he DJed at a rave I was at (yes, I said rave). Nope, not lying. There was maybe...300 people there, max. Now he's playing The Grammys. Life is weird. 


Stevie Wonder- him, I will always love. I do not understand why I know the words to so many of his songs. None of them are from my era. He's introducing Paul McCartney. Another face that frightens me, I have today. His new girlfriend (wife? fiancé?) is so pretty. Sir Paul is kinda singing/talking. Reminds me a bit of Lenord Cohen (but more British, less gravely).


EW, Chris Brown. Do up your shirt. He won. I'm not going to comment any further except to say that HE DOES NOT DESERVE A STANDING OVATION.


I LOVE THE CIVIL WARS (they deserve a standing O!). And now we're on to Tay-Tay (Taylor Swift). She's fab. I love this song...Why You Gotta Be So Mean? Gosh, the people I could sing this to.  I'm not going to comment on her clothes. Or the fact that I watched Valentine's Day (the movie) today and she was awful in it. Just am not gonna go there.
Awe. She got a standing O. That was sweet. 


Another Adele win!


Katy Perry was just introduced by Kate Beckinsale who is my idea of perfection. Listen now, I don't mind Katy Perry but I got this distinct feeling that she was trying to make this her "PINK" moment (do you remember that? When Pink did that amazing, soaking wet, Cirque-esque performance??) and it just didn't reach that level for me. She was trying to get there but it just didn't make it. Maybe it worked for other people better than it did for me...


Random question- is Blake Shelton really tall? Because every time he stands beside someone he towers over them. Also, do other people find him cute? I find him charming...but not cute. Two very distinct entities if you ask me...


Gwenyth Paltrow is introducing Adele. Oh my goodness. I love Gwen:) She's amazing and I don't care what you say. I'm going to stop typing until this performance is done.... Ok, I just cried a bit. She was amazing. Really, truly amazing. And just freaking NATURAL up there. Nothing fancy, nothing staged, nothing about her trying too hard. Just normal and natural and amazingly talented. This may be the (seriously infected) sinus drugs talking but I am digging these Grammy's.


Tribute to Glenn Campbell is up. The lead singer of Band Perry looks just like KATE GOSSLIN. Google it- I swear to you. Listen, I don't really know much about who Glen Campbell is (shoot me- sorry!) so I can't say I watched much of this part. My sister let me know that Blake Shelton is "A BEAST OF A MAN" so I guess that helps to ease my concerns that everyone at the Grammy's is actually a midget.


Off to make bottles and clean my kitchen...


Bon Iver. Best New Artist. Meh. I think it's super popular to say things like "I loved Bon Iver WAY before they won at the Grammy's" but I have to be honest and say that I could care less about Bon Iver's music. But, you know, I know every word to every Britney Spears song, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.


Time for the look back at those we lost this year. Without fail, I always say...they died THIS year?


Jennifer Hudson begins the Whitney tribute. OK, it's not Beyonce but she does have a beautiful voice that can carry off  "I Will Always Love You". You know, "The Bodyguard Soundtrack" is the first CD I remember owning (um, maybe after DC Talk- go ahead and google that). I sat in my room and sang this song over and over and over and over. J Hud did a beautiful job. I will not say a word about how she looked. 


**BREAKING NEWS: According to Twitter, Lil Wayne was arrested backstage at the Grammy's on gun charges. We'll see how much life/traction this story has...**


We don't need MORE Chris Brown.  But he's here again, with my aforementioned friend David Guetta. Some tribute to what I like to call "Dance-lite".  The audience has huge puffy glow sticks which resemble nothing that we ever had at real raves. You know, back in the day. When I went to three raves wearing MASSIVE pants and teeny tank tops.  


*LIL WAYNE was just on stage. So he was either pre taped or didn't get arrested...*


It's Foo with Deadmau5. I don't get Deadmau5. There, I said it.


The number of times they have told me that I won't be able to stop talking about this Nicki Minaj performance...it better be FREAKING GOOD!


I feel like they packed some really amazing stuff into the beginning of these Grammy's but it's kinda waining a bit...oh wait...its DRAKE! He's only on my radio about every 5 seconds (thanks CanCon). Finally we're getting around to introducing the AMAZING performance from Nicki Minaj that they've been promising us. So far. Yawn. She's jamming a play to be the next horror movie star/provocative performer. You know, mixing sex and religion is so overplayed and overdone and unappealing. For someone as "smart" as Nicki I would expect something much better. The idea of mocking religion for your own gain is so unappealing to my sensibilities.


FINALLY, lickity-lips is back. Man, if there was a drinking game to do with his lip licking skills it wouldn't have been that fun...for the "host" he hasn't been on the show very often.


They're just about to name Record of the YEAR....well, it's Adele. No surprise. She owns the Grammy's this year.


The Grammy's are almost over- all in all I've enjoyed the show. Some really talented performers, some that I just don't get, some that were pathetic and need to stop trying so freaking hard (HI THERE NICKI). Lickity- lips (LL COOL J) was a non-existent host. Adele owned the show. Drake looked hot. Lil Wayne may have been arrested. The Whitney tribute was kinda non-existent, people are so hot over Deadmau5 and I don't get it at all. Foo Fighters are amazing. Lady Gaga wore a net over her face the ENTIRE SHOW (that's dedication people). Some great moments and some moments that I could have done without.  Ah well, can't please all people all the time.


Adele wins Record of the Year. She's blubbering and adorable. I'm heading to bed. 

I'll be back soon...

My beautiful blog- I have been ignoring you. Wading through 8 weeks of sickness in this household, late nights working and writing, and general goings-on, I haven't been able to carve out much blogging time. Perhaps soon?